Sigh.

Haven’t we been over this already? Trading one hick for another, the Vikings released John David Bo0ty of Shreveport, LA (where good people go to die©) and signed the (suspiciously?) zombie-like Favre.

I’m seriously when I say that we’re over it.

The high five circle that led to madness whirlpool

As we mentioned before, if you’re looking for some of the best party music of 2009, look no further than Dan Deacon’s new album Bromst. Can’t wait for the party music and desire the entire party experience to your self? Catch Dan Deacon on his 2009 tour in support of the album. Dirty Handsome caught Deacon’s stop in San Francisco while there on business a few weeks ago.

As with anything as Deep Hipster as a Dan Deacon concert, one must weigh the pros of the experience against the annoyance of being in the presence of so many hipsters at once. And we’re not talking your baseline “wow, getting coffee in Silver Lake/Williamsburg/[your local hipster neighborhood] is pretty annoying when I’m hungover. I swear to God if I see another “man” in skinny jeans I might scream” type of annoyance. We’re talking deep – VERY deep – hipster here: “I think I’ve been surrounded by some sort of emaciated self-rightesouly entitled species where everyone is trying very hard to look ugly on purpose and normal size/color glasses are completely unavailable” type of aggravation (and borderline disorientation).

In an effort to help you make an informed Handsome decision, a concise review of the pros and cons of our experience are below. Please peruse before making any rash decisions.

PROS
Dan Deacon puts on a great interactive show – Deacon typically does shows literally in the crowd with everyone piled in, on, and around. The day we saw the show, he’d completely dislocated his shoulder moving things on and off the shitty school bus the entire 15 person ensemble travels in, so he did his first show on stage “in years, maybe ever.” This didn’t stop the incessant instructions from Deacon; over the course of the 90 minute show the houselights came on 4 separate times, a high five circle was formed then mutated into the entire crowd running together in a circle, a dance contest was held, and a people tunnel was created that snaked from the stage all the way up to the balcony and back. Aerobic, interactive, and completely dizzying – what a good concert should be.

Musically top notch – seeing electronic music performed by a live ensemble is a secret pleasure of mine. Bromst is an extremely complex layered work, so seeing it come to life with a 15+ piece ensemble was sonically explosive. How can you say no to three drummers and two xylophonists, particularly when there’s still 2/3 of a band still unaccounted for there?

Low-fi video screen – personally, I loved the bizarre, crappy videos.

Dancing is good for you – don’t deny it, don’t fight it. You just want to dance.

Tickets were cheap – like $12 cheap, before Ticketmaster club-baby-seals fees.

CONS
Dan Deacon puts on a ridiculous interactive show – see above. This means you not only have to be in the presence of hundreds of assembled hipsters, you have to interact with them. In San Francisco in particular, but presumably many other Deacon tour stops (looking at your Portland), the crowd will be hyped up, drugged up, and days from a nearest shower. Also, while in the presence of such a characteristically judgmental crowd, it’s categorically impossible to determine if you’re supposed to a) not participate and have a bad time, defaulting to lazy irony b) participate, defaulting to do-anything-that-seems-dumb irony, or c) actually enjoy yourself, irony-free. Note: that was a trick question. Hipsters don’t do anything irony free.

Small venue sound systems – getting a 15 piece band to sound good anywhere is a challenge. Getting them to sound good when you run your own sound in a venue you could fill thrice over w/ sound check alone is a challenge.

Opening band sucked – while attending any concert for a band that’s on the fringe of your musical taste, the opening bands will suck. Apologies to Teeth Mountain, who make up a better part of the traveling ensemble, but their solo set was painful. There were hipsters outside that weren’t smoking. It was that bad.

RECOMMENDATION
Take the edge off crowd with a few drinks and go for it.

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Corporate America: this is how you made us feel tonight.

Be honest with yourself – Corporate America is running your life. You buy necessary items from them; you buy what they sell you; you buy with money they pay you; you rebel against the things you don’t like because it lulls you into a sense of deep complacency about your unholy, abusive, kind of kinky relationship with Corporate America.

How can you Handsomely strike back? Easy – molotov cocktails sternly worded letters. Old fashioned? Absolutely – these gems give you an opportunity to show off your immense vocabulary and unparalleled verbosity. Cathardic? Definitely – it’s like email you write at work but don’t send because you’re afraid of getting fired, or even worse, NOT getting fired but having to live with the email hanging over your head for the next hellish few months because your employer doens’t have the balls to fire you. Write whatever you want, and be sure to let them have it. Worth it? Absolutely – and this is the point to remember most. Corporate America is built around brand, which is a combination of reputation, style, and obsene amounts of money convinging you they have one, the other, or both. Customer service costs a lot of money, so anytime you send a letter you are, in some bizarre roundabout but-hey-get-them-while-you-can sort of way, sticking it to “The Man.” Lastly, sometimes you get free stuff out of this, like gift cards to a company you just decided you hated or a cautiously composed letter on compay letterhead that you can make fun of next time you’re drunk (sooner rather than later?).

My most recent example to Delta Airlines is below. Note the subtle craftsmanship – polite intro, insulting jokes, pretending like I have more brand loyalty to the, noting said loyalty has been squashed and transferred to a competitor, clear grammatical and spelling errors belying the fact that I’m in a mild rage, etc. Enjoy!

This evening I was booking a flight on Delta.com and after a brief search I found a good fare that worked with my flexible dates and moved to purchase. 10 minutes later, after entering and verifying all of my information INCLUDING billing, I clicked the ‘please purchase’ button. The site wouldn’t let me purchase the tickets and offered me the same ticket for $370, almost 40% more expensive than 10 minutes prior when I had started.

I called customer service; however, the person manning the online phone bank said that I should clear my cookies while browsing. I explained that I work for technical support and understand deleting my cookies, clearing my cache, and that I was following ‘best practices’ of surfing. She said there was nothing I could do… and that I should clear my cookies.

Who am I to trust? I can understand the occasional error from 3rd party sites, but from a business own website? The answer: not Delta. I went to Virgin America’s website, found a flight that was the same price as the (now more expensive for no reason) Delta flight. Were the times as good as the Delta flights? No. Do I have a long-standing brand association and relationship flying on Virgin? No. Did they show me a price, book my ticket, and take my money? Absolutely, no questions asked. I tried being as loyal as I could, but no one at Delta had anything to offer in the way of help or suggestions – I couldn’t buy a hard time if I’d wanted.

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