Ready for some spontaneous human combustion? The excitement continues here at Big Handome now that Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) is guily on seven charges (that’s all of them, for those keeping count at home) of corruption for taking gifts from folks including a home remodel and furniture from savory types like oil companies. Our first post in our ongoing but infrequent ‘What up, lawya?‘ series was about Uncle Ted getting indicted, and now we’ve seen this one through to completion.
Best of all? Senator Stevens has decided he’s not dropping out of the senate race in his home state of Alaska. While we often encourage and engage in such ballsy/unrealistic/foolish behavior (Handsomely, of course), this is an especially ludacrous (awesome?) move because it may jeaopordize the Republican’s chances of holding their senate seat in Alaska. Our observations and prognostications after jump: (Read on …)
The state budget of California remains at a standstill, so what are our fair legislators working on? If you said “the 2008 California Budget,” you’re wrong. When a recent draft of the budget went to vote, Nicole Parra (D – Hanford) was kicked out of her office as punishment. And not just downgraded to smaller quarter a la “we’re no longer the majority party” style – Nicole was kicked across the street.
Oh snap! Dismissed from office (literally) – call your lawya: “Best review my contract, barrister. I’m still majority party, lawya! Working on getting it passed to my constituents.” (Read on …)
“What up lawya?” is an ongoing series examining moments where a man needs to seek the advice and counsel of someone we should always keep on retainer – your lawya.
Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) was indicted today on corruption charges for ‘making false claims.’ This is pretty awesome for a few reasons. First and foremost, the (very, very, very actually the oldest serving) senior senator is up for reelection this year against a strong Democratic candidate. Hell, he’s up against some other people in his party who in all likelihood less evil than Ted Stevens. Also, Senator Stevens’ actions over the past four decades have proven him to be very un-Handsome.
Like anyone in a pinch, Ted Stevens knows who to call: “What up, lawya? I know my rights; those are just some gifts, counsel.” What sort of false claims has he been busted for? Namely, that the internet is not a truck. WRONG. It is – an incredible truck with lots of pornography. (Read on …)