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West Hollywood’s Editorial and Metaphysical Crisis

The "coyote" in question

The "coyote" in question

Walking down from 302 stop San V and Sunset to the office the other day I passed through a West Hollywood neighborhood going through an intense crisis: a coyote had been spotted in their neighborhood. While the rest of the rich white people were behind locked doors clutching their designer handbags and designer handbag sized dogs, one person decided to be a good neighbor and warn their fellow citizens about the danger.

There were nearly 100 posters like this (click on the image to see the full poster) on every vertical surface in an otherwise quiet three block area. The best part, beyond the poster’s lack of punctuation, is the caption below the photo: This is a picture of a coyote not the one spotted. This is where the real crisis set in.

Editorial Crisis – It must be hard to try and sound such a serious alarm to your fellow citizens AND come clean that you simply found a picture of a “coyote” (looks fox-like to these Handsome eyes) as a substitute.

Metaphysical Crisis – Please, at all costs, REMAIN CALM. This is not the actual blood thirsty wild canine terrorizing the neighborhood, but is simply a two-dimensional representation rendered in ink on paper OF the actual coyote.

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3 comments

  1. eeyun posted on July 31, 2008:

    I’m wondering whether it was really a coyote at all. Given the average dog size for the area, it seems possible that the sign poster only saw a regular sized dog, assumed it was some sort of monster, and promptly went home to put their well-honed MS Paint skills to work.

  2. L. Pollison posted on April 2, 2009:

    Actually, it was a coyote. I have a few snaps of her standing across from my house. She ate two cats in one week in late July and attacked another (my cat) who got away but required almost $900 worth of vet attention.

    The hysteria was a little unfounded since we get at least one or two in our area each summer when the heat it as its worst. We have lots of sources of easy water and prey in a relatively shaded neighborhood. The only downside is that some cats get eaten. It upsets the locals because all that is left behind is red, wet cat rags picked clean of meat. if the coyotes would learn not to leave what’s left in people’s yards, they’d probably just assume Fluffy ran away.

    The annual Coyote season is at least one good reason to keep your cats indoors but many of us have adopted feral cats who won’t stay inside like my cat Inky.

    Some good came out of last summer’s freak-out! I took a 3 month old kitten off the street and made her a totally indoor kitty. her name is Holly and she’s very happy. She was mooching for food in the same area the coyote was being sighted regularly and I just didn’t want to think of the kitten getting eaten.

  3. Dirty Handsome posted on April 3, 2009:

    Happy to hear that something good came out of the whole episode. I see coyotes roaming my neighborhood all the time, but they rarely seem malicious (which isn’t to say it doesn’t happen…). Good luck w/ the new kitty.

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